Dating and College: Can We Do Both?


Nick Feldman, Cactus Writer

Finding love is difficult.  Not only is it difficult, some may even call it the meaning to life.  But where do we find love?  Do we simply walk outside of our houses and find our soulmate walking towards us?  The answer to this question is tough and multi-pronged.  That being said, many find their partners at college.  But what effect does this have on our performance at school?  May it hinder our learning process or our ability to effectively do our jobs as students?

Finding the person we want to date (and possibly one day love), is one of the hardest parts.  Some may go online, some may go to bars or coffee shops, but one of the most common places to find love is college.  I personally found my girlfriend of two years (with whom I now live) right here at CAC.  For me, this ended up being a good thing.  Once we started to spend a lot of time with each other, she pushed me to do well and not procrastinate.  She was a catalyst for me doing well in school.

At the same time, I have heard from many people that just the opposite may happen.  People may find a significant other at school and the couple may end up hindering each other’s learning processes.  Thus, the question that I pose is whether or not dating affects the two parties’ abilities to do what needs to be done, or does it simply depend on the couple?

Once you’ve found someone and you begin the difficult process of dating, you become completely entranced in that person.  You want to constantly talk to them, be with them, get to know them.  This can have a negative effect for some people if this process is taking place at school.

This distraction is the biggest issue.  It doesn’t only take place when we are physically at school, it also affects us outside of the classroom.  When homework needs to be done, we instead might opt to go out on a date, or simply text or talk to that person all night.

Dopamine, serotonin and all kinds of hormones are rushing through our brains, and this affects our judgment.  We may put off assignments or slack at work; we may decide to snap each other for hours instead of studying for our upcoming physics test.

In the end, it all comes down to making sure there is balance if you are lucky enough to find love at school.  If you are able to be studious or hard working while also fostering a budding relationship, this is the key, especially if you are able to motivate each other.  Stopping distraction in its tracks is what needs to happen.  We can still carry on a relationship while also doing our work; in fact, we may even be able to help each other out with homework.  So, instead of distracting each other while dating, the idea is to find balance.