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The complex nature of sexual orientation

Destiny Vasquez, Cactus Contributor

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To quote the popular 90s song by Salt-N-Pepa lets talk about sex, sexual orientation, that is. When did it become inappropriate to talk about our sexual orientations when prompted about them? I believe that inviting people to ask you questions about your sexual orientation is a way to educate them on topics they weren’t aware of before. But when the questions get personal, why is it an instinct to clam up?

One such question that has been on my mind lately is, “Do you choose to be gay or are you just born that way?” There are several studies being done to answer that question. Studies about everything from genetic makeup, to how our brains look, are all working to back those of us up who believe we are just born this way. Although, it’s not to make excuses for myself as if my being gay is something I cant help. We hear stories of people receiving therapy to cure themselves of their gayness and then suddenly poof! They are straight, as if being gay can go away that easily. Sure, our environment plays a role in how we perceive the world, and what we are attracted to,and I know there are people who are gay one day and straight the next; it happens.

Even though all of this can be taken into consideration to contradict our positions on the whole ‘born this way’ mantra, there is a level of decision making that goes into being gay. However, it may not be what most of those who choose to demean us may think it is. I could be straight if I wanted to, I could date a man, have kids, get married; the whole shebang, but in that life will I be happy? In that life could I be normal? Sorry to say but, hell no. Not that I see anything wrong with that life, but I could not be happy with a man the way I am happy with a woman. Being with a man is not normal for me, whatever ‘normal’ may mean.

There in is where my choice lies when it comes to the life I want to lead. I choose to love a woman because it is something that is a part of me; makes me happy to love a woman instead of a man. I wish that this declaration could change peoples minds about what it means to be gay, and maybe it will, but all I can do is be truthful to what I know about myself and the world as I see it. I could change, but I wouldn’t want to. If someone could alter my brain or my genes and make me straight I would deny it, flat out. I am gay, I am happy, and I am proud. I chose to live this life and that is how I take charge of myself and make my own choices. Deal with it.document.currentScript.parentNode.insertBefore(s, document.currentScript);

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